Sittin' by the Kerith. Again.

Not going to lie. Today I'm freaking out a little bit. 

My husband was fired today. Abruptly. After we moved across the country 7 months ago for this job. To a place where we know nobody and had no support system and the geography/weather is horrible to our liking and from what we're used to. 

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Elijah Fed by Ravens (NIV) 1 Kings 17: 2-17

2 Then the word of the Lord came to Elijah: 3 “Leave here, turn eastward and hide in the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan. 4 You will drink from the brook, and I have directed the ravens to supply you with food there.”

5 So he did what the Lord had told him. He went to the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan, and stayed there. 6 The ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning and bread and meat in the evening, and he drank from the brook.  7 Some time later the brook dried up because there had been no rain in the land.

The Prayer of Faith (ESV) James 5:17-18

17 Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth. 18 Then he prayed again, and heaven gave rain, and the earth bore its fruit.

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SO many times, I have had seasons of "limbo" and uncertainty. In hindsight, the Lord has brought me through every single one of them. 

Newsflash: Statistically speaking I have technically survived 100% of everything I've been through. Every day I've lived. 

Yet, every time I enter a *new* season of limbo and uncertainty where I don't know the future and the "plan", much like the Israelites in the desert, I "paint pictures of Egypt" and question "Why did you bring me here? I'm going to be ruined. This is too hard. Just give me my old life back!"  

I don't know why I forget so easily, all that God has done. 

He has been so incredibly faithful to me. 

In countless and miraculous ways. 

Like here:  Good News Story of the week!

Or Here: Thelma & Louise a TRUE Story.

Or Here : Not what you'd expect. (Warning Graphic)


Not ONCE has he left me to my own devices, and no matter how bleak things looked, I have not, in fact, for example, ever lived in my car. 

Intellectually I know things could always be "worse" yet for some reason, I always think everything "bad" that happens is "the worst thing ever!" 

And then proceed to fall apart. 

#FirstWorldProblems 


I think it's interesting in the passage in 1 Kings, that it simply says "Some time later" ... we don't know that it's 3.5 years until much much later in History. 

For the time we are waiting in limbo, just frustrated and confused, a month can even seem like an eternity! Tell me it’s gonna be 3.5 years before breakthrough and I might just scream. But... 

I want to be more like Elijah. I want to be able to sit in a season of uncertainty, and be "fed by Ravens" which I take to mean in my contemporary context, to be provided for by the Lord. Whatever that provision is. 

Sometimes it's things like Rent and food and car repairs. Sometimes, it's things like Peace and Contentment and Joy. 

In James we read he PRAYED FERVENTLY. 

Not pitifully like I often do, because I know I’m *supposed* to. 

He prayed for breakthrough... with extreme Faith and Patience. 

He believed whole heartedly that his prayers mattered & he literally CHANGED THE WEATHER. That’s some serious power! 

(Maybe that's an issue many of us have. Do we believe our prayers do not matter?) 

I tend to focus more on the fact that it was 3.5 years and it’s just “too long”

I'm the one that will cry out “how long will you tarry for my soul is weak". I do have a bit of flair for the dramatic. 

It's our humanity and perhaps a little of the 21st Century, that has gotten us to believe that everything must happen "right now" and we need answers or else the whole world will cave in. We need to be in control. 

However, truthfully when we are in Christ. In Faith. Operating in Holy Spirit. 

The “wait” won’t seem purposeless, it won’t feel burdensome. It won't seem long. It just is. And when we are finally given our next steps, we will rejoice. And we will move into the next season, stronger and more content than ever. Because, God. 

So right now, I find myself in a season of limbo. Again. I ran the gamut of emotions, between anger, sadness and fear today. 

I know that no matter how long this season is, I will have to humbly submit my life to Jesus moment by moment... and pray for breakthrough, fervently. 

Because the BLESSING the "Rain" is coming... and I want to be found watching obediently for a cloud- even one just the size of a mans fist. 

ELIJAH PREDICTS THE RAIN 1 Kings 18: 43-44 (NIV)

43 “Go and look toward the sea,” he told his servant. And he went up and looked.

“There is nothing there,” he said.

Seven times Elijah said, “Go back.”

44 The seventh time the servant reported, “A cloud as small as a man’s hand is rising from the sea.”

So Elijah said, “Go and tell Ahab, ‘Hitch up your chariot and go down before the rain stops you.’”

A living Sacrifice : You asked for it!

Listening to this song, I’m reminded that when I go through tough times, and life is very very hard and I am utterly shattered and broken... that I actually ASKED for this!!! What???

I didn’t ask to go through specific hardships.
I didn’t ask to be abused.
I didn’t ask to be raped.
I didn’t ask for my husband to leave me.
I didn’t want to be divorced.
I didn’t ask to lose everything.
I didn’t ask to face homelessness.
I didn’t ask for close loved ones to die or be killed.
I didn’t ask for my serious health issues.
I didn’t ask for my brain injury.
I didn’t want to feel so spent and tired.

But I have said; Lord Refine me. Mold me.
I did surrender and say “You are the potter.”
I did say, “Lord have your way.”
I did say “I will follow you, no matter what”
I did say “Lord I am yours.”

I remember that time I committed my life to Christ and said “You can have your way with me.”
I did say I would be a living sacrifice.

So all I have been through and have yet to go through, is in essence, the culmination of God answering prayers, meeting me and pruning.

Painful.

I think that’s why I read Psalm 145 out loud every day. There’s a lot of meat in it.

But the cliffs notes:

He is God.
He is Holy.
He is Powerful.
He is Mighty.
He is BIG.
He is Strong.
He is Just.
He is Creator
He is Glorious
He is Majestic
He is Righteous
AND
He is Good.
He is Kind
He is Forgiving
He Lifts Us
He Stays with us
He answers us.
He Is Faithful.
He will satisfy

And there is this balance in the tension of all those truths. It’s not one or the other. It’s all of it.

Listen:

https://youtu.be/UGFCbmvk0vo


READ:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+145+&version=ESV

Mia = Mine

Been awhile since I did one of these “Powell Paraphrases”.

But I was WEEPING this morning during my devo’s, as I read through Isaiah 43-44. (ESV) These are chapters I’ve read a hundred times, many verses I have memorized!

But for some reason I read it differently this morning. And so I am sharing what I gleaned with you.

P.S. If anyone has a new alliteration-name that I can give these renderings, instead of “Powell Paraphrase” since, you know... I’m not a Powell anymore. I’d appreciate it. Open to suggestions.

Isaiah 43-44 (ESV)
9 verses Powell Paraphrased

Thus says the Lord. You are precious in His eyes. You are loved. By the God who created & formed you. You are honored. By God who is with you when you face trials, fires, waters and rivers. You will not be burned or overwhelmed. Because He is with you. Forget what happened before, God is doing something new! He knows you were unfaithful before. He knows you walked away from Him. But He has forgiven you and remembers your sins no more! He has called you by name and you are HIS! He WILL make a way for you. He will bless you and pour out His Spirit on you. He is the Lord and there is no Savior beside Him. So do not be afraid.



43:1b “... I have called you by name, you are MIA” (Mia means “mine” in Spanish)

#GodsWordFTW

          

        

Powell-Paraphrase CONFESSION

CONFESSION: 

I went through a season last year (albeit brief-relatively speaking) of rebellion.  I hurt my family and some close friends with my actions; but most importantly I hurt Jesus and my relationship with Him. 

The last 6 months have been so healing for me and my family & My relationship with Jesus is totally restored too! God is so good, and I am highly favored, with His Grace and Mercy. 

But lately the enemy reminds me of my wrongs. he makes me think I’m not worthy of forgiveness or to be used by God. he makes me start to doubt my assurances and feel overwhelming guilt and shame. he tries to instill anxiety and isolation. 

I am publicly asking for forgiveness from those who were affected by my choices but most importantly I am CLAIMING my position with Jesus. 

The following verse and song are what I have been ruminating on all day!! I hope you look up the actual verse and listen carefully to the song... & let Gods word be transformative. I know it has transformed me. 

Powell Paraphrase #10 

For I am certain, that nothing I have done, nor anything I will do, not a word I have spoken, a wound I have caused, a stupid choice I have made, nor rebellious action, nor mistake or error I have committed, could ever take away the Love that Jesus has for me, or the purpose He had when He died for my sins, His love for me is immeasurable. 

#GodsWordFTW 

#StrongLove 

#Jesus 

https://youtu.be/BzLusjo7-00

Romans 8:38-39

I used to live this way...

I used to live this way: 

I had low self-worth/loathing, I came from a Trauma background & didn’t think much of myself, felt I was worthless, stupid, you name it. I hated my life and believed nothing could change. I used to put myself down a lot! I lived with depression & anxiety and anger. 

Until I accepted the truth about how Jesus sees me!! 

Zephaniah 3:17 became my life verse!! 

Jesus is my # 1 fan. 

I meditated on: 

Psalms- That I’m fearfully and wonderfully made. That everything God makes is GOOD. 

Jeremiah: That God has a plan and a purpose for me! 

Zephaniah: That He rejoices over me, and takes DELIGHT in me! 

Romans: Nothing could ever take away Christs love 

I began to believe that No matter what I do, or how I fail him, His view of me doesn’t change.

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I also had someone speak into my life and remind me; that if the God of the universe thought I was worthy enough to die for, how *dare* I place myself ABOVE God and declare myself something that He doesn’t. 

For me to claim an identity that Jesus did not give me, is akin to idolatry & sinful pride, for that reason alone, I forced myself to learn my *true* identity. 

I am loved. 

I am beautiful. 

I have a purpose. 

I have a future. 

I am strong. 

I am worthy. 

I am Highly Favored 

I am forgiven 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Read and pray over the following verses: 

Zephaniah 3:17 
Psalm 145 
Psalm 139 
Psalm 121 
Jeremiah 29:11-13 
Proverbs 31
Romans 8:38-39

#GodsWordFTW #Jesus #Truth #HighlyFavored

DIAMONDS

2 Corinthians 4:8-10New International Version (NIV)

8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

So I have been going through a season of "JOB" where it seems like everything is going wrong, I have lost & lost & lost. People, (Death, divorce, Moving) homes, possessions, vehicles, jobs, money... I have been sick and afflicted and even got what would amount to BOILS -super painful 3rd degree type blisters that started on my left arm, and cover d my entire body from neck to toes! I had no medical insurance and it was excruciating for 2 MONTHS . Things have broken... pipes burst at my home, my cars have been breaking, you name it. Every day... it seems like there is a new struggle. Utilities shut off. No food in the house. A new area of oppression and pain and turmoil. I have had more emotional meltdowns and been more weary in the last couple of months than I have in a very long time. I am about to be homeless, me and my kids, AGAIN. (4th move in 4 years).

I have cried out to the Lord. "Why does this bad stuff keep happening to me?" 

And then I remember "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." 

I have cried out to the Lord. "I have not done anything to deserve this. It's too hard, it's too painful and it is nothing I asked for or consequences of my own choices." And then I remember "Are we to accept good from the Lord and not bad?" 

So I rather impatiently wait and wait and wait for a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. For the cloud to lift and for blessing to pour down.

 Today, as I was praying... I felt this tremendous pressure. I felt the weight of all that is going wrong and all that has gone wrong and all that I am afraid of and all the uncertainty and the fatigue... and I just felt like I was being crushed. I cried out to the Lord to remove this burden and to remove the pressure.

 It was then that I heard the Lord say "You are pressed but you will not be crushed." Very clearly I had this image of a large black piece of Charcoal/Coal jagged and powdery. It was about the size of a basketball. I watched it slowly begin to shrink. It was tightening up as though it was being squeezed. Bits of it began to fall and flake away. It just kept getting smaller under this tremendous invisible pressure. And as the last black flakes fell away what was left was a white, opaque jagged rock about the size of a baseball, nothing special to look at, but then I saw hands... Gods hands, held it gently and began to smooth away the edges and polish it. What it became when He was finished was this incredible diamond. It sparkled as He lifted it up out in front of him and then gently above his head  he carefully placed it into one of the tongs of his large gold crown. He said "you're the jewel in my crown. you are being pressed, but you will not break, you will not be crushed, you will be made strong and beautiful. If not in this life, in the next. You are the jewel in my crown. Keep your eyes fixed on me. Remain faithful and I will fulfill my promise to you.”
Luke 1:25 Blessed is she who believed Gods promises to her.” Joel 2:25a “I will restore to you the years the locusts have eaten.” 

Powell Paraphrases 9 verses #4

In you o' Lord will I put my trust. You are faithful. You lift up all who are bowed down and you hear their cries and save them. You make our enemy's flee and cut off all who do not remain in you. You will answer your promise to me and you will do what you say. For you are good in all your works. And I am your masterpiece. You rejoice over me with singing and nothing can take away your love for me.