A Psalm of Mia.
I was recently talking to someone and explaining the pure joy and gratitude I have for Jesus.
The light and cheerfulness I carry… it’s quite confusing and misunderstood by many of those who know my “story” & know the various trauma I have endured.
Abandoned in the jungle of S. America, Beaten throughout childhood, Sexually abused/raped, Neglected, Domestic Violence, Poor, Homeless, Broken, Adultery, Divorce, Bankruptcy, lots of physical deaths of loved ones, family, friends. (Including several people murdered!) Physical disability, near-death experiences and injuries/illnesses Etc.
For nearly 50 years, there has been much pain & hardship; sometimes with no end in sight, and sometimes so unbearable, I have contemplated just ending it all.
But God.
Here’s what I have learned in my Christian Journey.
I have had everything stripped away, and felt Gods strength, provision, nearness and peace, significantly more than any time, I was ever in a season of stability, health or blessings.
I have been in seasons of absolute rebellion & hard heartedness, and felt God so distant from me, I felt crushed, empty and drowning all at once.
Yet, once I repented and returned to Him, I felt His LOVE & Mercy in ways I couldn’t possibly have experienced, any other way.
I have had YEARS of being abused, abandoned (literally) broken and violated- through no fault of my own; and yet sensed Gods physical PRESENCE, protection & faithfulness in legitimate supernatural ways.
⭐️ I have learned, it is precisely BECAUSE of all these “dark”, “heavy” difficult, painful seasons… that I have experienced the attributes of God.
⭐️ I have learned to have reverence and be in awe of Him.
⭐️ I learned, I literally could not have the relationship I have with Jesus WITHOUT all of the difficulties and all of the PAIN.
These challenges, these wounds, are what has made Him real to me and drew me closer and more deeply in love with Him and so so incredibly thankful for & to Him.
I have seen with my own eyes, and felt in my own body, the very things The Psalmist describes over and over again.
God is :
•Sovereign
•Holy
•Just
• Love
• Kind
• Generous
• Slow to anger
• Jealous
• Personal
• Comfort
* Merciful
So yes, I am continuously filled with Gratitude, Surrender & Love for/to Him.
It is what makes me believe that despite whatever hardships come, I KNOW my God will show up, one way or the other.
If not to “save” me from whatever circumstances I face; to be the Calm, Peace, Hope and Joy in the middle of it.
If you are currently in the middle of a season of hopelessness or excruciating pain, before you give up… please read & re-read the scriptures below, and let Gods word and His presence and His promises reveal themselves to you.
No comments:
Post a Comment