OOF. Conviction & HOPE.

 We left Arizona discouraged, frustrated, overwhelmed and thoroughly sad and disappointed. We did not find a house. We move in 10 days. The movers call tomorrow to find out where they deliver our furniture and we have no address. This will be the fourth time I have “faced homelessness” although not -the living on the street or out of my car kind- it is still scary and daunting. 

This morning I woke up, feeling heavy and angry and confused and frustrated and exhausted. Then I drank a little coffee (I'm convinced it’s a mood stabilizer!) and I did my Worship/Prayer/Devotions. 

I was listening to a song called “King of my Heart” sung by Steffany Gretzinger who is one of my favorite Christian singers. 

One of the lines in the song is “You’re never gonna let, you’re never gonna let me down.” -This is repeated several times. And then “because you are good. You’re good. You’re good.” As they repeated this line over and over and I ruminated on this, several verses came to mind in quick succession like flood. 

And then The Lord spoke. 

The verses:

• Numbers 23:19 - “God is not a man that He should lie… Has he said it, and not done it?” 

• Psalm 145: 9 “The Lord is good to all …” 

• Psalm 145: 13b-16. The Lord is faithful in all his words, and kind in all his works. 14 The Lord upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food in due season. You open your hand; you satisfy the desire of every living thing.

• 1 John 4: 8 … God is Love. 

• 1 John 4: 18 … Perfect love casts out fear. 

• Zeph. 3:17  ...He delights in you. 

This is what the Lord said: 

“What character flaw have you found in me, that would make you think I would purposely cause you to be discouraged. I will not let you down, I do not “disappoint” people. Do I delight in playing jokes on my beloved? Do you think I don’t have something planned for you, that is beyond what you imagined? Have I not been faithful to you over and over and over and every other time you needed a home, have I not given you one? I don’t understand who you think I am.” 

OOF. So I repented. And I received the word. And I surrendered everything. I broke down crying in the car to work, listening to worship music, praying for my family. Just surrendering it all.

Peace filled me. 

Love washed over me. 

And faith buoyed me. 

I don’t know why we couldn’t find a home. I don’t know why we have to wait, or even possibly why we would have to spend so much more money on hotels, or Storage etc. But I do know GOD is LOVE. He is KIND. He DELIGHTS in me. He is FAITHFUL and He will never let me down. I believe He will satisfy our desires, in HIS time. 

Here is the song:

King of my Heart feat. Steffany Gretzinger. With lyrics. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaxEXZqpRcA